Are you livin' old man?

So far, having kind of a shitty April Fool's day. Woke up this morning with a nasty fever... think I'm taking the day off, I feel disgusting. Saw Zoe and Christea, then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth... at which time I discovered that Zoe had covered the bathroom doorknob in vaseline as a super awesome prank. I heaved a heavy sigh and wiped off the doorknob, then proceeded to go around finding the other doorknobs she had lubed up and cleaning them off.

I dunno, man. It just kind of made me sad. Like "aw... now my hand has stuff on it. Again."

Christea was involved in distracting me for it to happen. Just goes to show you, you can never trust a woman.

Or so I am told.

Anyway, Malik and I have designed some plans for retaliatory measures against Zoe which will be monstrously amazing. Normally I am not one for April Fool's--most practical jokes people pull are really just annoying, though occasionally there will come an awesome one--but we have some good ideas for this one.

I'm going to go lie down because I feel like I am covered in ants.

PS I'm gay, and also a woman. Wait... april fool's.

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Update:
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So here's what we did to Zoe.

Step the first: That morning, confronted her and gave her a whole "you messed with the wrong guys, you're gonna get it so badly" spiel. Zoe is a very excitable person (I mean that in absolutely the best way, I love her to death) and so she got pretty terrified all day. Whenever she saw Malik or I, she'd run.

Step the second: Malik and I recorded a 2-and-a-half minute track of obnoxiously loud, semi-frightening noises from the synthesizer to a .wav file. Uploaded it to Christea's iPod.

Step the third: Set up Christea's iPod and speakers in the bottom drawer of her dresser, which happens to be right next to Zoe's head. Turned volume all the way up; left drawer open a little ways but kept the speaker covered enough to be invisible at night.

Step the fourth: Set the alarm clock on Christea's iPod to 4:36 am.

And, lastly: "April fool's."